轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?

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聚合新闻
聚合新闻 会员 5月9日 03:50 发表
<p>开篇提问:你喜欢健身吗?</p> <p><!--StartFragment--></p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F124ff0ddj00sd3yko00boc000gj00ghc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p><!--pkvote(v351775)--></p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F352bd25fj00sd3ykn000dc000ic0035c.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>哈喽大家下午好,我是实习生珍猪!喊出咱们的口号:轻松一秒,快乐十分!</p> <p>每天都好困啊~~~</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2Ff4556157j00sd3ykp00g7c000qo00qoc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F60e11314j00sd3ykn000ac000ic0034c.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>今天来个小问题</p> <p>你在酒桌上给别人倒酒,对方用手捂住杯口,说:“你没资格给我倒酒。” 你会怎么办?</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F6717b078j00sd3yko009xc000iw00kic.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>【上期提问】</p> <p>你现在闭上眼,第一个出现的画面是什么?</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2Fde65af76j00sd3yko00cjc000js00ibc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>人生三大梦想</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2Ffd3d9a63j00sd3ykp002ec000ku00u1c.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F3d33a189j00sd3yko000dc000ic0035c.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>1.每日一吐槽</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F2c40cbe0j00sd3ykp0012c000ev00bqc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>2.辣酱也整cp了!</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F4571bf77j00sd3ykq00eqc000fj00euc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>你觉得哪个更好吃?</p> <p><!--pkvote(v351776)--></p> <p>3.做人留一线,日后好相见</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F08c7fa82j00sd3ykr00bvc000n000yec.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>4.真是身残志坚</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2Fc1b861d6j00sd3ykq00muc000fg00jhc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>5.商家:我不要面子的吗</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2Fadc19681j00sd3ykr0083c000co00esc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>6.走错了谁负责?</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F00883132j00sd3ykq006yc000eu0077c.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>7.随时随地,享受清凉!</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F27967d41j00sd3ykr009sc000e900d6c.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>8.诶哥们,撞衫了</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F2aa5f92bj00sd3yks00cpc000fu00fic.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>9.你小子油盐不进是吧</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F1fc1e8d8j00sd3yks006xc000ft00l7c.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>你经历过合租生活吗?</p> <p><!--pkvote(v351777)--></p> <p>10.虽然没得到鸡,但你得到了一堆土啊</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F87502a11j00sd3yks00bbc000fg00hcc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>11.低头玩手机的好处就是会获得一位陌生老公</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="http://cms-bucket.ws.126.net/2024/0507/288f412cg00sd3yks01idc00068007wc.gif" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>12.真的是这个名字吗?</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F8f2e4763j00sd3yks0081c000ej00ekc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>13.不好,有毒!</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F3e87ec67j00sd3ykt00boc000et00abc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>14.要不要进去尝尝</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F3c949626j00sd3ykt005sc000eh0099c.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>你爱吃麻辣烫吗?</p> <p><!--pkvote(v351778)--></p> <p>15.低头玩手机的好处加一</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="http://cms-bucket.ws.126.net/2024/0507/58d68f81g00sd3yku01yoc0005w0083c.gif" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F593c70e9p00sd3yku004fc000ic0035c.png&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>1.老林买了一辆高档自行车,40000多元。 第二天上班担心车被偷,就在自行车上锁了五把锁,结果下班发现车被偷了。 后来警察抓到小偷,老林问:“车呢?”小偷:“让我给卖了。” 老林:“你识车?”小偷:“我肯定不识车。” 老林:“车卖了多少钱?”小偷:“300。” 老林:“那么多自行车,你又不识车,为什么偷我的?” 小偷:“人家车就一把锁,你车五把锁。”</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F55e9e458j00sd3yku00acc000hk00hsc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>2.有个男生对室友说:“昨晚和女朋友吵架,她关掉手机跑回家了。我追到她家楼下,本想喊她的名字,又怕被她妈听见……”  室友问:“你不喊她的名字让她下楼来,难道就一直干等啊?”  男生说:“后来,我只能在她家楼下喊我自己的名字……”</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F5e59c034j00sd3yku007pc000hi00hsc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>3.吃过晚饭,我说:“给你个惊喜,老婆,今天发奖金了,给你买个项链吧。”老婆惊喜说:“发啥奖金了?”我说:“季度奖。”一旁的岳母一听就急了:“什么嫉妒奖,乱七八糟的,嫉妒别人就有奖?头一次听说,这个奖最好不要,平时工作要踏实,千万别嫉妒别人。你们领导真是昏头250,怎么就会傻不拉几的发嫉妒奖呢?”</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2Fdb988da0j00sd3ykw009vc000u000slc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>4.现在小学的题很难,有一天我辅导女儿写作业连续出错,甚至把她做对的都改错了。女儿突然问我:“妈妈,家里还有钱吗?”我奇怪的问女儿:“你问这个干嘛?学校要收费吗?“女儿看着我无奈的说:”要是家里还有钱,你再去上两年学吧,你只会做以前的题,现在你都不会做题了。“</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2Fbfd9090cj00sd3ykw00h3c000rn00qoc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>5.开车下班,不小心撞了前车屁股,没想到下来的是个美女,她看看没什么事,调侃的指了指车后冲我笑了笑。 我一看贴的是:大龄剩女,追尾必嫁。觉得挺好笑,起动时走了神,咚的一下撞了个狠的。 正在想怎么解释,美女从后视镜看了看下车的我,一脚底板油跑了……</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F6779db24j00sd3ykv0055c000gn00gac.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F0d23bf3bj00sd3ykv000cc000ic0035c.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>盘点现实中的社交悍匪</p> <p><style> #endText .video-info a{text-decoration:none;color: #000;} #endText .video-info a:hover{color:#d34747;} #endText .video-list li{overflow:hidden;float: left; list-style:none; width: 132px;height: 118px; position: relative;margin:8px 3px 0px 0px;} #entText .video-list a,#endText .video-list a:visited{text-decoration:none;color:#fff;} #endText .video-list .overlay{text-align: left; padding: 0px 6px; background-color: #313131; font-size: 12px; width: 120px; position: absolute; bottom: 0px; left: 0px; height: 26px; line-height: 26px; overflow: hidden;color: #fff; } #endText .video-list .on{border-bottom: 8px solid #c4282b;} #endText .video-list .play{width: 20px; height: 20px; background:url(http://static.ws.126.net/video/img14/zhuzhan/play.png);position: absolute;right: 12px; top: 62px;opacity: 0.7; color:#fff;filter:alpha(opacity=70); _background: none; _filter:progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.AlphaImageLoader(src="http://static.ws.126.net/video/img14/zhuzhan/play.png"); } #endText .video-list a:hover .play{opacity: 1;filter:alpha(opacity=100);_filter:progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.AlphaImageLoader(src="http://static.ws.126.net/video/img14/zhuzhan/play.png");} </style> <script src="https://static.ws.126.net/163/f2e/libs/hls.min.js"></script></p> <div class="video-wrapper" style="margin: 10px auto;background: #F5F5F5;"> <div class="video-inner" style="padding: 25px;padding-bottom:20px;"> <div class="video" style="height: 435px; background: #000;"> <video id="VK0LRUE3N" preload="true" controlslist="nodownload" width="100%" height="100%" controls="controls" style="object-fit: contain;" poster="http://videoimg.ws.126.net/cmssnapshot/20240507/qCcv68934_2.jpg" data-vid="VK0LRUE3N" alt="盘点现实中的社交悍匪"></video> </div> <script> if(Hls && Hls.isSupported()) { var hls = new Hls(); hls.loadSource("https://flv0.bn.netease.com/87b81629fca8e2a6a5c57708576e5c57a71150f737d9b5f10e5cf9b742e0e73f26e9067d9dff5eb7fa0318081aa774e5ebf06ebde6e626dee092f5ecd7d5e7397865f6b4dfb711edf7f24a3fca134436124a8d635498017d0d6c970cdb5e4ab78bfc84a9822dfa4eae85874e702647d7616a1d2080ce42c0.m3u8") hls.attachMedia(document.getElementById("VK0LRUE3N")) } </script> <div class="video-info clearfix" style="margin: 16px 0 0px 0px;height:20px;line-height:20px;"> <p class="fn-right" style="height: 22px;line-height: 22px;overflow: hidden;font-size:12px;float: right; margin:0;padding:0;text-indent:0;"><a style="text-align: right;float: left;width: 300px;" href="https://www.163.com/v/video/VK0LRUE3N.html" target="_blank" class="video-title">盘点现实中的社交悍匪</a> <span class="video-from" style="color: #a7a7a7;margin-left:10px">(来源:视频综合)</span></p> </div> <div class="video-list"> <ul class="clearfix" style="margin:0;padding:0;list-style:none;width:540px;"> </ul> </div> </div> </div> <p></p> <p>今天的轻松一秒就先到这,我是实习生珍猪,希望今天的轻松一秒能让你呲牙乐呵一下,明天见886!</p> <p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" alt="轻松一秒:叫花鸡里怎么没有鸡?" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0507%2F775ea0d0j00sd3ykx00mkc000j600ifc.jpg&amp;thumbnail=660x2147483647&amp;quality=80&amp;type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p> <p>今天的轻松一秒怎么样呢?请大家评价一下吧~</p> <p><!--pkvote(v351779)--></p> <p><!--EndFragment--></p> <div style="height: 0px;overflow:hidden;"><img src="https://static.ws.126.net/163/f2e/product/post_nodejs/static/logo.png" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"> </div>
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