轻松一刻:找对象一定先看身份证,胸和腿都可以排后
<p>各位秋裤，调休调得你厌倦了吗？</p>
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<p>你们说这样行不行，假期南北调一下：</p>
<p>这五天北方人放假，那五天南方人放假，剩下355天我放假。</p>
<p>你们觉得怎么样？</p>
<p>相信南北方的朋友都能够理解我的~</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F8ed385c3j00scpch400h4c000j600o9c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>毕竟放假嘛，开心最重要~</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F6005bfc9p00scpch3005ic000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p><b>【一家开怀一家哭，有人欢喜有人愁】</b></p>
<p>4月27日，重庆秀山县一废旧棉花处理机器被卡，店家检查机器发现棉絮里有现金，大约有几千块钱，部分已被打碎。知情人称，这些是被子枕头里的棉絮，是从千家万户回收来的，很难找到失主。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fba6548e9j00scpch500mzc000gr00rjc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>天杀的，我一眼就认出了这是我家的棉花被！</p>
<p>快还我吧，我要被我妈骂死了。</p>
<p>对了，再看一下有没有金戒指和金项链，这对我很重要！</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fb1935b49j00scpch400o6c000j600n3c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>此时，有个倒霉蛋已经哭晕在厕所。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fdad020ccj00scpch6016pc000su00zkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>让本不富裕的家庭，雪上加霜。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Ffd1dbf45j00scpch3001vc000ci007fc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>这真的是一家欢喜一家愁啊。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fbde7aae3j00scpch5008rc000go00n4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>这种情况，怕是喜盈门了。</p>
<p>4月27日，广东， 广东暴雨后鱼群排队进家，网友：留他们吃了饭再走吧~</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F83748a43j00scpch5008gc000ac00hkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>关门，放线！</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F52ab6b39j00scpch600ayc000fd00kjc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>高情商：留它们吃了饭再走。</p>
<p>低情商：养肥点再吃。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="http://cms-bucket.ws.126.net/2024/0429/5dac4cceg00scpch6037sc0006s00byc.gif" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>蒜了吧，姜它们放茴大孜然，要筷，今碗落实到胃。</p>
<p>总之，得给一家老小安炖好了。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fa7faf4aaj00scpch60080c000dw0085c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>这鱼也是犟，宁愿躺着游也不愿把背露出来，都偏头痛吗？</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F77f9fe0bj00scpch7007ac000j600edc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>鱼儿都可以在马路上跑了，这几年环境整治效果真好。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="http://cms-bucket.ws.126.net/2024/0429/6bc14e89g00scpch7035ic000b400jsc.gif" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>治安也老好了~</p>
<p>4月27日，陕西西安，警营开放日活动，多人排队体验戴手铐。有女生对警察连声说“谢谢”</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Ff528d16fj00scpch900frc000gm00n4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Ff5fca896j00scpch900ijc000gu00nlc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>警察：头一次拷人听见谢谢。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F58ac345ej00scpch80081c000bh00d6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>一天拷这么多人，当代年轻人的精神状态过于喜人。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fe19f65f1j00scpch8006xc000eb00hac.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>现场的情侣：警察蜀黍，可以这么拷吗？</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F0d473e63j00scpcha00adc000bg00isc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>那啥，什么时候全国巡回拷？我很需要！</p>
<p>能把我从公司拷走吗？我不想上班了。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F8a155684j00scpche01ukc001f0011oc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>就怕拷着拷着警察蜀黍来一句：咦？钥匙不见了！</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F24798aa5j00scpcha0076c000j600huc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>要不给这位也拷一下的？</p>
<p>据央视新闻报道，云南昭通的自媒体博主袁某，为快速涨粉，把饮料假装成尿在医院做尿检，还当着医生的面喝下去。</p>
<p>男子的行为严重影响医院当天的就医流程，视频发布后，不良影响持续发酵。</p>
<p>经核查，其账号还存在“穿比基尼去陡街逛一圈”、“去猪圈抱着猪睡觉”、“买花圈送女生”等大量低俗恶搞视频。最终，袁某因涉嫌寻衅滋事被行政拘留15日，相关账号被封禁。</p>
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<p></p>
<p>如果他喝真尿，是不是就不抓了？</p>
<p>医生：立刻给他办理精神科入院！</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Ffa1a8aecj00scpcha0019c000c8004ic.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>黄金矿工都挖不出他这样的神金！</p>
<p>医院每天这么忙，这些网红还去打扰人家工作整活，真是为了流量毫无下限！</p>
<p>希望医生对他说：你拿错了，你的是这一杯。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F68c29a58j00scpchb003qc0009q0079c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>为了自己的欢喜，却让别人愁，不可取不可取。</p>
<p><b>【拼尽全力，却惊不起一丝涟漪】</b></p>
<p>被主人强迫喝奶的法斗，哈哈哈哈哈哈奥斯卡影帝啊！</p>
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hls.loadSource("https://flv0.bn.netease.com/33352658ad2214c9293106909afca7eb6f642e98a5dff5b43f2f30168066f42dd2e57a46542b5fc8ae1dbe0ce506928d94f60ca7c91b3cd19024d78fdf4975a4c138c5514eae198ce6ad18a2dfffc9c23b24c615fcd93c1a3565dca529082a1f89068df99d07df164e81b591b2db5341e7fe77cf182aaa0b.m3u8")
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<p></p>
<p>这喝法，别再给奶扇感冒了。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fe6354845j00scpchb00a2c000j600j6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>法老师这演技，可以开班了。</p>
<p>狗子：看到了吧，喝不喝的不重要，重要的是要给她提供情绪价值，这就是女人！</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="http://cms-bucket.ws.126.net/2024/0429/62113006g00scpchb029gc0008w008wc.gif" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>这狗省钱，一碗可以喝一辈子。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="http://cms-bucket.ws.126.net/2024/0429/8a982f3dg00scpchb00lbc00099007sc.gif" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>嗯，跟我喝酒一个水平。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fd4a091a2j00scpchd00nbc000u000euc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>狗狗真的是小天使。</p>
<p>4月28日，重庆女生路遇小狗单独买凉菜回家，热情打招呼遭无视，网友：它怕你骗凉菜。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F35bc0a29j00scpchc008sc000a700dqc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fd11b4559j00scpchd008rc000a900g5c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>你看它可爱的，它看你像偷菜的。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fd86945a3j00scpchg00zgc0018g01akc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>哪有什么岁月静好，不过是狗子替人负重前行。</p>
<p>狗：没我这个家早散了！</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fb0290d07j00scpche0076c000cm00b4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>上啃老、下啃小、中间啃狗</p>
<p>这个家，没有一个吃白饭的。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fba4edeebj00scpchg00wgc000m200zkc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>狗子一天天的，又当爹又当妈，比男人都顾家。</p>
<p>所以给狗子花点钱不过分吧？</p>
<p>全球首家"狗狗航空"将开航，每一只狗都是头等舱服务，单程票价6000-8000美元！</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fecacce99j00scpchf0093c000a400hlc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>我看谁还说自己整天累的像狗一样！</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F0c6c8a0fj00scpchf006bc000c6008qc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>我人都不考虑这个价位的机票。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F45636fcbj00scpchf00lqc000hs00goc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>这个视频一出来就知道，和普通人没关系。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F19548280j00scpchh00vgc000j600qzc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>《我在人间凑数的日子》</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fddb4cdc1j00scpchh00bdc000j600l1c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>就想问一下，有没有漂亮的空姐狗狗？</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F7865842fj00scpchh00dcc000dw00dwc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>不管坐什么交通工具，都需要一个稳定的情绪。</p>
<p>4月27日(受访)，广东陆丰，男子雨天行车途中车辆打滑失控，撞上防护栏后连续转圈，全程情绪稳定冷静应对。</p>
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<p class="fn-right" style="height: 22px;line-height: 22px;overflow: hidden;font-size:12px;float: right; margin:0;padding:0;text-indent:0;"><a style="text-align: right;float: left;width: 300px;" href="https://www.163.com/v/video/VK01LHFM4.html" target="_blank" class="video-title">男子雨天行车遇打滑情绪稳定冷静应对</a> <span class="video-from" style="color: #a7a7a7;margin-left:10px">（来源：视频综合）</span></p>
</div>
<div class="video-list">
<ul class="clearfix" style="margin:0;padding:0;list-style:none;width:540px;">
</ul>
</div>
</div>
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<p></p>
<p>情绪稳定到像在游乐园开碰碰车。</p>
<p>给人一种活着挺好，死了也行的感觉。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F4dda809fj00scpchh008nc000d000c4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>小伙儿：多大点事，大不了重开一局！</p>
<p>阎王爷：这么淡定的？不要你了，滚！</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fb56ac9c2j00scpchj009wc000j600gac.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>我用手机看着，都没他淡定。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F5f2a2fd8j00scpchk00wmc000j600w8c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>这要是我，转一圈的时候我遗言都想好了。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F537a9c64j00scpchj00ddc000j600f4c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>想好遗言的，应该还有这一位。</p>
<p>4月26日，河南郑州。</p>
<p>论背包拉链的重要性，男生在女友面前扔石头，没想到把女友的“装备”爆了一地。</p>
<p><style>
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<p class="fn-right" style="height: 22px;line-height: 22px;overflow: hidden;font-size:12px;float: right; margin:0;padding:0;text-indent:0;"><a style="text-align: right;float: left;width: 300px;" href="https://www.163.com/v/video/VK01LCG4L.html" target="_blank" class="video-title">男生在女友面前扔石头，没想到把女友的“装备”爆了一地</a> <span class="video-from" style="color: #a7a7a7;margin-left:10px">（来源：视频综合）</span></p>
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<div class="video-list">
<ul class="clearfix" style="margin:0;padding:0;list-style:none;width:540px;">
</ul>
</div>
</div>
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<p></p>
<p>“我对象情绪比较稳定”“揪我耳朵超级疼的”</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F67c7f29dj00scpchj006hc000a200bbc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>她要不是心疼她的美甲，能只揪你耳朵？（分手没，没分手麻烦你拍下她的美甲）</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fbcf160ebj00scpchj006pc000g900c1c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>你这哪是扔石头，扔的是命！</p>
<p>这一扔，你是生死难料啊。</p>
<p>甩出去的那一刻，我都不敢想你会遭遇什么。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="http://cms-bucket.ws.126.net/2024/0429/f48c2721g00scpchj02i8c0008200edc.gif" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>女友的情绪确实稳定，不稳定的话，都能给男友噶了。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fd88aa0fdj00scpchm00t6c000u000vrc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>情绪稳定，是一种非常美好的状态。</p>
<p>4月24日，吉林。婚车路上被牛和骆驼拦截，开启“自助”吃鲜花模式沾沾喜气</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F4421287fj00scpchk009kc000ab00eac.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fdbb2e28aj00scpchm00zac000m800ulc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>骆驼：老牛，来，这有旋转小火锅！</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F7f6f3667j00scpchp02t4c001j400uzc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>不知道喊一句“大哥，我本地的”有没有用。</p>
<p>不过也挺有寓意的。</p>
<p>古人讲，牛羊满圈，富贵吉祥。</p>
<p>婚礼遇骆驼，人生不蹉跎</p>
<p>大喜逢老牛，一生就是牛。</p>
<p>大爷，你也是牛！</p>
<p>4月25日，浙江六旬大爷坚持运动40余年，状态似年轻小伙活力满满，大爷：从18岁就开始锻炼。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F5a98cdf1j00scpchm00iic000gc00qmc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F0318c93ej00scpchn00grc000gi00m3c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>小说里的家公出现了！</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F4cb85affj00scpchn009qc000d700d7c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>我不羡慕大爷，我羡慕大娘。</p>
<p>这得迷死多少个花开富贵和空谷幽兰啊~</p>
<p>这哪里是大爷，分明是老北鼻！</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F51dc870dj00scpcho009cc000cd00czc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>60岁大爷健步如飞，30岁我站起来两眼一黑</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F7f5efac5j00scpchp00ftc000fq00omc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>好了，今天的一刻就到这里，我们下期再见~</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fadbb2d1bp00scpcho005bc000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>我接了一个早产儿，告诉爸爸第一天花费可能比较高，先去把押金交了。</p>
<p>爸爸一脸担忧地看着我说需要多少，我说5000，他如释重负说:</p>
<p>没事医生，该花花，我准备了50W，不够我可以卖房，我有17套房</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Ff5966947j00scpchq00kdc000j600vgc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>找对象一定要先看身份证，胸和腿都可以排后</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F05a98aa4j00scpchp00ddc000kw00fic.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F87634076j00scpchr00m8c000kw00s6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Face2f77cj00scpchq001jc000c8004bc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>暴雨天</p>
<p>牛会躲窝里</p>
<p>马会往棚跑</p>
<p>牛马会想尽办法出门上班</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fec8b29aej00scpchr005bc000jn00chc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>以后跑路的会计：以前我真的错怪学校了。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fcf74f88dj00scpchs00hmc000fj00p6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F61bbd329j00scpchr002kc000c200cyc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>这就是班味儿吧</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Faeb96783j00scpchs0093c000j600hvc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>矛盾转移</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fc46a36fcj00scpchs004cc000j600f1c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>变化太大了</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F659d02dcj00scpchv01v9c000u001fnc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>当代人的族谱：</p>
<p>姥爷：4个孩子</p>
<p>爷爷：6个孩子</p>
<p>父亲：1个孩子</p>
<p>我：1只猫</p>
<p>猫：绝育</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Ff8caaa69j00scpchu011kc000na00v5c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>宝宝，明天我们去爬山吧</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F525d818fj00scpchu00ctc000j600u6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>中间啥字 这么脆弱</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fa6d84a51j00scpchu00dhc000k000k0c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>南方人最害怕的台词出现了</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F835678afj00scpchu00dnc000j600kxc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>老爹突然对着老妈说：“今天我终于确认，我是你亲哥！” 老妈瞬间懵了！就在这个时候，老爸突然指着我开骂：“不然怎么会生出这种智障儿子！”</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fcdaf981fj00scpchv00hwc000j600j6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>这是我今年看到过最歹毒的菜</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F86838976j00scpchw00grc000hd00ofc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>加钱的项目都来了一遍？</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fbc08f925j00scpchw008uc000go00n6c.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>说实话，羡慕猫！</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F42afcb97j00scpchx00i1c000u000jlc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F580e60a0p00scpchx004oc000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>不是上面开盖可惜了</p>
<p><style>
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#endText .video-list a:hover .play{opacity: 1;filter:alpha(opacity=100);_filter:progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.AlphaImageLoader(src="http://static.ws.126.net/video/img14/zhuzhan/play.png");}
</style> <script src="https://static.ws.126.net/163/f2e/libs/hls.min.js"></script></p>
<div class="video-wrapper" style="margin: 10px auto;background: #F5F5F5;">
<div class="video-inner" style="padding: 25px;padding-bottom:20px;">
<div class="video" style="height: 435px; background: #000;">
<video id="VK01LJ14M" preload="true" controlslist="nodownload" width="100%" height="100%" controls="controls" style="object-fit: contain;" poster="http://videoimg.ws.126.net/cmssnapshot/20240429/nDsa91191_0.jpg" data-vid="VK01LJ14M" alt="太炸裂了"></video>
</div>
<script>
if(Hls && Hls.isSupported()) {
var hls = new Hls();
hls.loadSource("https://flv0.bn.netease.com/33352658ad2214c9ea176429f5e3f92e5b84045c79ed17883ca47ed54cd6fb3adc73d13945fbf2daba053cf4d9fd6d107126dedfcd41daa8900366290656ce9cf3bf5cf24c2400526803e92caca2bfbeb0e6c10c62e863b59e201a19948c1bc2cd2a3ba99ca86632b35f3670ac2fe499e411eb724c552619.m3u8")
hls.attachMedia(document.getElementById("VK01LJ14M"))
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<div class="video-info clearfix" style="margin: 16px 0 0px 0px;height:20px;line-height:20px;">
<p class="fn-right" style="height: 22px;line-height: 22px;overflow: hidden;font-size:12px;float: right; margin:0;padding:0;text-indent:0;"><a style="text-align: right;float: left;width: 300px;" href="https://www.163.com/v/video/VK01LJ14M.html" target="_blank" class="video-title">太炸裂了</a> <span class="video-from" style="color: #a7a7a7;margin-left:10px">（来源：视频综合）</span></p>
</div>
<div class="video-list">
<ul class="clearfix" style="margin:0;padding:0;list-style:none;width:540px;">
</ul>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p></p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fa921de6fp00scpchx004ec000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>你看到了几种动物？</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F93281fecj00scpchy00o8c000j600fjc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>【上期问】</p>
<p>你更喜欢哪种甜筒呢？</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Fe48d7ae0j00scpchy0080c000fq00dwc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F3337f6c5j00scpchy000mc000km009vc.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2Facd1d1eep00scpchz004zc000ic0032c.png&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p>那就顺势躺下，看谁慌。</p>
<p class="f_center"><img onerror="javascript:this.style.opacity = 0;" src="https://nimg.ws.126.net/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcms-bucket.ws.126.net%2F2024%2F0429%2F20c62897j00scpchz002lc000ku00uac.jpg&thumbnail=660x2147483647&quality=80&type=jpg" referrerpolicy="no-referrer"></p>
<p><!--EndFragment--></p>
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